Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Wednesday 25th June 08

Gill got me up at 8 so I could take the boys into school and soon after I got back she went to Leeds as she had an appointment there. I finally got the time and space to do my Community Care blog, this time on 'Transition Initiatives', after which I went into town and did a little round-trip including, at 1pm, an appointment with Jacqui Warren, York's new Sustainability Officer. Spent 45 minutes with her and came home via Sainsburys and Country Fresh, getting home in good time to go to school.


CENSORED before coming home with my two and one other boy... who all went down the garden to play whilst I prepared tea... pasta and broccoli with a slice of quiche from yesterday. Gill had got in and gone to bed, feeling grotty, so I looked after the kids for most of the evening.

I had seen the comment left on yesterday's blog post by Annabel about parenting skills, and I raised the issue with my son who had initially refused to consider going to Ripon on Sunday. I told him I'd asked for help over the internet and had got some advice, and that if he wanted me to read it to him, I would, but that he would be going to Ripon with me on Sunday. He was happy not to hear the message read out, and agreed to come to Ripon, so thank you Annabel for encouraging me to try again!


Anonymous said...

Hi John,
I am glad you got it worked out with your son.

I hope it helped you read both our comments at diffenrent times but saying almost the same thing!

I was faced with an opposite dilema to what we talked about last night.

My 13 year old daughter decided she wanted to play "MAN HUNT"in the 80 acre meadows near our home, with my son and his 3 friends all 16 years! in the dark!( its kind of hide and seek the dark with flash lights).

She came begging us to let her,we are every protective parents and she isnt allowed to walk down the street alone at night!Let alone go Man Hunting in the dark!

So it was a tough thing to decide on..we talked to my son who was ok with it,but he felt she needed to hold her own and be tough,( he wanted her to go but not baby sit her as he was with his buddies!,which is fair and if she wanted to play with the big guys ,she had to be tough!).

We talked to all the boys and they reasurred us, they would protect her and keep an eye out for her and one of them would be with her at all times!They all had cel phones.

Suddenly,I was told what they wanted!and my first test of letting go a little,trust and not be so over protective, so we did !!

They are all back safe and happy! and I learnt tonight to let go a little and trust them and give them what they want too.

Not easy being a parent ,but each stage is a learning one and we will all be tested in all these areas sooner or later!and hope we do the right thing.

I am writing this John, and hope you post this one,as you talk about help in parenting and its difficulties,I wanted to share with you and your readers all the different angles of and the new challenges we are faced with each day being one!

Again best wishes,

Anonymous said...

Thank you John for your comment, but most of well done to you for persisting with your son.

Also k gave some very good advice, pretty much the same as i was saying.

you just cant afford to let any incidents of bad behaviour go unchecked or unpunished, because with kids if you give them an inch they will take a mile. if you do need to wlak off for a moment to compose yourself remmeber that you still have to go back and address the situation.

at the age your kids are at (mine too) they will always be pushing the boundaries, and it is up to you as the parents to give out a consistent response. even if it is unpopular which it is bound to be a lot of the time.

i see your lad has acted up at school again, what repercussions will there be for that?

also John, i did cringe at bit when you said you had taken advice from people on the internet and offering to read the comments out to your kid. in my opinion you should have just said ' i have been thinking very long and hard about this, so has your mum and we think ...etc etc'.

the message has to be direct from you, ok? he doesnt need to know you are consulting other people...

onwards and upwards