Not an easy day, as someone was in a mood and took offence at even the slightest parental suggestion, ie, at midday, asking him to go and get dressed, was met with a response "why should I?" and when I answered quite reasonably "because I want you to" he came up with a string of excuses why he shouldn't and then got exceedingly angry when I said that I would make him lunch once he'd got dressed, and accused me of cruelty and threatening to starve him! I had actually asked him to get out of his pyjamas and into a teeshirt and trousers... that's all...
So, unfortunately, this blew up out of all proportion, partly because I am unable, or perhaps unwilling to be told to 'Shut up' by my child and to just not respond. Something in me makes me answer 'Please don't speak to me like that, it's rude' or similar. Anyway, Gill had to intervene and tell me to just turn away and not continue the situation, even though I feel that if I back down and let him have the last (rude) word, I am not doing my duty as a Father.
So after lunch, which I did make them (I made them eggy bread for breakfast too, as Gill is still very poorly) I went to Salisbury's and the station... to get tomorrow's train ticket to Bradford and a ticket for a trip to London in January, to meet up with other speakers from the Climate Speakers Network. Popped into Salisbury's too, for one of their most excellent loaves and some medicines.
Also popped in to Country Fresh and Freshways, came back home drenched and glad to potter around the house and dry off...
Gill made pizza dough, amazingly, as the aspirin I got seemed to have helped, and using the tomato thing I made the other day, she made a good pizza which the boys loved, as usual.
I had the remains of the lasagna and a slice of pizza, before going out to the LETS Christmas Party at Helen's. This was a cosy event, with just Francis and Rakesh, Marian, David and Liz (plus Helen and myself) and lots of chat, helped by a party game where we all took a coin from a pot and looked at the date on it, and said something that had stood out about that year. I hadn't seen Marian for some time and it was good to catch up and hear about her latest business exploits, which are veering towards the website and sales side of things. So, animated conversation. A good little gathering, and I left some time after midnight and cycled back in the falling snow...
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1 comment:
John,
Here's a tactic which I didn't ever think would work with argumentative kids but it wasn't until I tried it that I realised that, more often than not, it did!
You don't get into reason and argument with them, you just keep calm and continue to repeat the request, perhaps with a different combination of words or a slightly firmer voice, with lowered-brow eye contact. Eventually they get so fed up with you being in-their-face that they stomp off and go and do what you wanted them to do in the first place! Doesn't matter if you get to request no22 or higher, just keep calm and keep up the ante!
Robin
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