Wednesday 3rd March 10

Quite a good day... had a lie in! But up at 10.30 and I got busy straight away as it was a nice day and I had an appointment at 2.30 at Jim's office, to learn how to edit Wordpress websites. I did emails first and then the washing up and recycling.

The visit to Semlyen IT went well... Jamie took me through the website and showed me how to do various things... I now have to go and play with the website and add things before we launch it to the unsuspecting public.

I came back via Country Fresh as Gill had asked me to try to get something which could help her make a costume for our youngest's World Book Day. He is dressing up as Ergum the Barbarian.

When I came back my eldest was arriving home and we chatted and then I helped him with some homework, just encouragement and one or two ideas, and the resulting piece of work was brilliant.

A very positive evening, what a relief!

Friday 13th February 09

I managed to get our youngest into school on time but our eldest is unwell so he stayed at home.

I spent a chunk of the morning writing my column... did it on 'greener driving' which was interesting... ie acknowledging that if people HAVE to use their motor vehicles, there are things they can do which will reduce the cost to the planet as well as to their wallet. I enjoyed writing this and got it in at lunchtime. It'll be published in 2 or 3 weeks time in Community Care magazine.

After lunch cycled down to town with my poorly bike not letting me go at my usual breakneck speed (!) and put a cheque in and got some cash out so I could buy another £50 worth of Carbon Detox tickets, which I hope I'll sell at the York in Transition clothes swap tomorrow. I then went straight to school to collect our youngest. His bike has a puncture which was initially a slow one, meaning that I could pump up the tyre and it would last until he got to (or home from) school. However, it's now a fast puncture, so I strapped it onto my trailer and we walked home together, holding hands and chatting. A very enjoyable 'being a good daddy' experience! Helped of course by him 'being a good son'!!! Both boys had some time on the Wii and then on the computer after school, and barring one short outburst followed by a sincere apology, we had a really nice evening together.

Saturday 31st January 09

Was awoken by boys fighting right outside the bedroom door. I ignored it and after a few minutes the rumpus stopped. My tip... if you want a quiet life, don't have children. Although having children can be very satisfying, lovely, exciting, fulfilling and more, it may cause your life to include a lot of noise, disturbance, heartache, questions about why you decided to do it... perhaps having one is different, perhaps some children are easy to live with, but at the moment, living with two boys is, from time to time, horrible. I do continue to love them to bits, and yes, I see some of my own behaviour in them....

This early fight or loud argument preceded a very peaceful and harmonious day! Breakfast was fine, I got ready soon after and left in my cold-weather costume (red dungarees and outlandish skiing hat) at 9.30 and was in St Sampson's Square to start the City of York Council's Residents' Festival off at 10am. David the photographer arrived and as there was no audience at first, I did some unicycling and stuff for him... but when my activities caused people to stop and watch, I interacted with them and ignored David, although he continued to snap away.

I finished just before 11 and invited people to come and watch the Punch and Judy, and I reloaded my stuff on the trailer and cycled home. Within an hour, my younger brother Tom arrived, with Kate his wife and their three children... lovely! We all had the tomato soup I'd started making on Thursday, which Gill had finished seasoning and whizzing this morning. That with bread and hummus was delicious.

Sometime after 2pm everybody went out to get on the bus and go and visit the Castle Museum, Gill and Katie's favourite. I had another 45 minutes in the house, did some washing up and left the house at 3.30 for my 4pm performance. This show went really well... a big crowd, up for entertainment, with quite a few staying all the way through right from the beginning, which was good, as street-crowds are notoriously transient. There was loads of interaction and laughter and I enjoyed myself immensely. I came away once again thinking how lucky I am doing a job which I enjoy so much.

Got away at about 5.15 and came home fast... the family were already back and all the children were happy... my eldest playing with Tom's youngest, and the other three immersed in Asterix comic books and similar. Within the hour Tom and Katy took their tribe back to Sheffield and we continued to have a very harmonious and peaceful evening.

At times like this, I'm very happy to be a father. This may seem inconsistent, but I think it's pretty normal to have feelings which change dependent on the circumstances you are experiencing at the time! Someone can feel cold and uncomfortable whilst putting a load of bikes away in the shed after a family cycle ride, and within minutes of getting in and putting another log on the stove, feel cosy and defrosted. Same with parenting... sometimes it's hell, sometimes it's lovely and rewarding... all in the same day, sometimes within the hour! I have no regrets and am coping with the difficulties by remembering the good bits.

For me, blogging helps too as I've written a diary since I was a teenager and find it very cathartic to get it all (not all!) down on paper (not paper!) and share some of what's going on. This approach upsets some of my more distant family members as they think that I shouldn't mention my children. I don't understand this, when other blogs (go press the 'next blog' button at the top of the page a few times!) do more than mention children... they have photos of them and names and all sorts of detail, and I feel that is intrusive, more so than my descriptions of family life.... I am careful not to go into too much detail and am trying to not 'betray confidence' although this is difficult as I am naturally open and honest, and don't understand some people's obsession with privacy. My immediate family know that I write about them and sometimes I read the post to them.

Anyway, I enjoyed today and was really happy to see my brother and his family. More work tomorrow, forecast is very cold with snow-showers. Could be a challenge!

Sunday 11th January 09

Another poor start to the morning... Gill woke me gently getting back into bed, having got one boyo happily ensconced on his prefered computer game, and the other seemingly happily playing on the Wii, which he likes. We do not wan t them to sit together on the big computer because of yesterdays difficulties. Gill had come back to bed for a lie-in.

However, the child on the Wii wasn't doing as well as he had done previously and started wailing. Gill went downstairs to see what was wrongd told him that today he wasn't allowed to go and watch his brother, but WAS allowed to continue with the Wii. A severe case of 'grass being greener on the other side' then ensued, with maximum volume. Gill tried to ignore it and came back to bed, and explained the situation to me.

However, the 'mortally wounded' child came upstairs and proceeded to wail outside our door, which rather put paid to any lie-in or anything!

Is childhood always this difficult? Is parenting always this difficult? Well, no, sometimes it is much easier for both chld and parent, but this morning was a low pont for two parents and one child. The child in the other room with the more desirable computer game didn't even register there'd been a problem!

So, I came downstairs and put some hot water on the washing up (Gill had lit the stove on the embers from last night) and watched Countryfile, which was mainly a re-run of several previous clips.

Lots of housework today, and mid afternoon, a cycle down to Country Fresh to pick up just one sack of compostables and took it to the allotment, where I spent an hour or just more chopping back the ever vigorous brambles and piling yet another series of layers on the compost heap. Also cut back a large woody shrub just behind the noticeboard which is on the edge of my plot, dug some grassy lumps and turned them over, and chatted to a nice lady called Sue who's partner Jerry or Gerry went to the Solar buyers club last month. I really love being on the allotment.. it's not hugely productive and I'm not mega-organised, but it's a lovely place to be and, well, just mess around. I'll plant some broad bean in soon. I got six packets from Barnitts last month.

Arrived back as it grew dark, at about half four and had some chats with the child who has homework to finish, constructing a questionnaire about 'The News' and how different people receive it, what they think about it, etc. He finished writing it out in neat, and asked all the family members the questions. With help, he rang up various other people (mainly his own age) and got their responses.

We all watched 'You've Been Framed' whilst eating tea... the boys had baked potatoes with stir fry veg/nuts and we had the stir fry with rice. Very tasty.

Later, I half-watched Swarm and tried to get into the mood to do some writing... but I'm just not really feeling like it. This daily diary-account is just about the most I can get myself to do at the moment... and I've a paid blog post to do, my book to keep on with and a column due in at the end of the month...

Friday 2nd January 09

An excellent day! It was a relaxed morning with no shouting or aggro, and then Gill went into town on the bus to try and find trousers for our eldest and so he could get a birthday present for his friend who's party he's going to tomorrow.

I took this opportunity to play with our youngest, he wanted to play on 'Mario Karts' on the Wii... and oh God it was difficult! I was rubbish... came last several times, but hey I'm a beginner and I'm old so both count against me. Half an hour left me exhausted! So much concentration... and then the phone rang and it was Rose up the road asking if our eldest was needing a lift to the party tomorrow... and I asked if her son was in and wanted a playmate? He was and did, so we walked up there and I came back to do a composting job which has been needing doing for a while: the bin made of Anderson Shelter corrugated iron was very well rotted down... I dug it all out and put the stuff in a builders bag, from where I'll bag it up or riddle it and bag it...

Then Gill came back, our eldest with no trousers but a nice appropriate prezzie for his friend.

I then bombed into town on the bike to pay our annual electricity bill to Good Energy through the bank (electronic transfer) and put in a cheque for £30 for 6 sacks of compost Alison had off me yonks ago, the stuff Barry Potter took up on his return journey from delivering the cider press back to me...

Back in time to put some rather overdue compostables which have been hanging about into the newly vacated container, and collect a pile of electrical flex I rescued a while ago which I've been putting off sorting. However, once I'd sat down and got going with the craft knife (pulling the flex into the blade, the blade held still next to my trousered leg), my eldest started to help by pulling apart the grey outer insulation and removing the inner thinner wires, and then when I'd shaved off a long sliver of plastic from the copper wire, he extracted the wire from the throw-away plastic sheath.

We did about two hours worth... a most excellent Father/Son activity, and we did about a quarter of what I've collected recently. Enjoyed the Royal Institution Lecture again, and took wood-heated bathwater up for the older boyo to have a bath before his party tomorrow.

A most enjoyable day. I want, no, NEED more days like this, where I feel like a good parent doing the right things re my offspring. All too often these days I feel like I'm just not coping, but today was a blinder! Mainly due to excellent behaviour from both boys.

Wednesday 24th December 08

Woke late.. well, after 9, with a certain child screaming at the top of his voice and rushed downstairs as I thought he'd been injured. He hadn't... he'd forgotten his password for a card-making website (or something like that) and was having a full-blown paddy. Really over the top... but obviously it mattered to him.

Anyway, it got me up. I emailed David who's a photographer and I've asked to take some pics for some new publicity material for me, and he wants to come to the hotel I'm working in tomorrow and get some pics of Professor Fiddlesticks. I always visit the venue beforehand to check how things are and remind them of my needs, health and safety-wise etc, so I invited David to come with me and see the venue. So went down just before lunch and met Stewart the manager, and found the whole place had been rebuilt and I have a new position to do my work in.

Home for a late lunch and a fairly lazy day... just some housework and a bit of work outside. Took the boys up the road to deliver a card to one of their friends, they walked back and I went on to Country Fresh with a little gift for Richard for his year-long generosity and friendship... he just loves the dried fruit and as he's the supplier of much of it, it's good that some goes back to him! Home via Freshways where there was a sad lack of compostables but they were very friendly and nice.

A relaxed evening, watched Willy Wonka the 1971 version with the children which was lovely! Gill had made some soup, leek and potato, which we had with bread rolls. Delicious.

Simon popped in later on in the evening to deliver his presents and collect what we've got for them. Had a glass of Pauline's Port and a good natter.

Then onto present wrapping, and a bath to tidy up for tomorrow's work.

Friday 19th December 08

Quite a relaxed day in many ways... although due to a family visit we did have some tidying up to do. I took our youngest into school and came back to help sort stuff out... I found a large sack of bananas which I was able to salvage and lay out on the cake-racks on the stove, and also helped with vacuuming, ready for Gill's sister Jane and hubby Mike to visit, due at 2.30.

About lunchtime I was rung up by the local free magazine 'Local Link' who are going to do a feature on composting, and they wanted a how and why conversation to form an article, so spent an hour chatting through allsorts of stuff, being careful to differentiate between the York Rotters advice and things which I did, which I'm supposed to try to keep separate from Rotters stuff. For instance, with my Rotters hat on, I'm supposed to not go on about composting roadkill... so I am going to be sent the article before publication so I can check I'm not going to get into trouble, and that the facts are correct!

Jane and Mike had come to visit several folks in York, drop off presents and pick up presents for their family gathering, as they have offspring and grandchildren visiting them over the holidays. They arrived slightly early and we had a good chat before our eldest came home and then I cycled down to school to pick up our youngest. They stayed a bit later than planned, to see the children who were on best behaviour, fortunately!

I left for town as soon as they went, to deliver paperwork for the council, the Planning Panel stuff, and to post parcels to Taunton and Shrewsbury and a small pile of letters/cards to lots of other places. I also picked up two sacks of orange halves and coffee grounds from Millers Yard, and a sack and a box from Country Fresh. Home by 5pm.

I had the leftover macaroni cheese and cauliflower from yesterday plus dolmades (stuffed vine leaves) which are one of my favourite things, quite a treat as they aren't cheap, even buying in bulk from Suma. A good evening with the children, we watched a bit of telly and I got a cuddle... not something I often get from my eldest!

A warm and cosy evening turning logs rapidly back into the carbon dioxide the trees sucked up not so long ago, releasing their stored sunshine into our living room and into the water to enable us to wash our pans and plates, and driving moisture off waste bananas to preserve them for future muesli... I love our Clearview Stoves!!!

Wednesday 23rd July 08

A good day, boys in a happy mood as their friends from Leamington Spa are here, and they were content to play by themselves. Ulrich went to Tadcaster to inspect a chicken farm, and it was interesting to hear from him about what issues he had to take into consideration about it becoming certified organic. It is going organic because of increased demand from consumers, which is great.

I went into town to pay my National Insurance and pay cheques in, came back with a sack of squished lemons from the lemonjuice stall, and several boxes of stuff from Country Fresh.

A peaceful lunch as the boys are completely engrossed in a board game called Dragonology.

After lunch I had an hour's circus skills play with them... something my boys never want to do with me, but as their guests were keen, both of mine joined in too, which was FANTASTIC!!! We did diabolo, devilstick, juggling and unicycle, and were still doing this when Ulrich came back from his organic chicken farm inspection at 3ish. I really enjoyed this time with them.

We all had tea together at 5.30 and at 6 Ulrich left with his youngest to drive back to Leamington, leaving his 11 year-old with us until Saturday when we'll put him on a train which he'll get off at Leamington Spa..

I had a meeting at 8pm, the embrio 'York in Transition' co-ordinating team. I chaired the meeting at the Stables project, and just managed to fit in a long agenda into the 2 hour slot. However, at the end, we couldn't lock up as the chap who offered us the venue didn't turn up himself (he's a keyholder) and we spent nearly an hour trying to find a way to get the place locked up! Had a nice chat to a chemist called Bryony though, which was good...

Home after 11, went on the computer but didn't get that much done...

Weds 23rd April 08

Not a brilliant start to the day... not sure why but there was a huge outburst and disobedient behaviour, and my son hit me on the nose. I had to hold him down because he threatened to break things and harm me further. I cycled to school with them.

Went to the parenting class, definitely need it, I feel pretty helpless in the situation of having a child who loses it. It's so difficult, I love him so much but cannot cope with his some of his challenging behaviour as it pushes my buttons. The parenting class had a section on smacking. I was regularly beaten as a child (spanked) and I have vowed never to spank them, although they have had smacks on their hands sometimes, and when there is an outburst and threats of violence or damage, it can get pretty physical. But if every evening were like this evening, things would be absolutely fine. It must be difficult for parents with easy children to understand what it's like, and even more difficult for non-parents to comprehend how difficult it can be from time to time. Our child is not the worst, though, going by some of the stories we've heard at the parenting class, so in that respect, we're lucky!

I picked them up from school, all was peaceful and he apologised and we had a really lovely evening! I spent some time watching one of them on their train simulator thing on the computer and he built a special layout for me with some crazy stuff!

More of the squash and mushroom soup for tea for me, boyos had something nicer!

Saturday 12th April 08

Not a good start to the day as was woken by boys fighting (or, one irritating the other, the irritated one over-reacting and causing such a din as to be irresistable to the irritating one) and then later there was a huge paddy as the irritating and angry one tried to put on a belt and fed it through his trousers the wrong way. As parents, we offered to assist or tell him how to solve the problem, and he kicked off. There was so much yelling and slamming of doors, we feel really sorry for our neighbours. Gill says we need to move to a detached house where our activities (both my logging/composting AND the extremely noisy child) won't affect anybody else.

I got ready to go to my AVP management meeting with a 'heavy heart' feeling depressed that I am unable to solve conflict in my own household when I'm going out to help run a group which aims to help other people solve their conflicts.

I cycled up to New Earswick to the Hartrigg Oaks 'older persons' housing and care development, where three of the AVP volunteers live. The development also has a central building which has meeting rooms, which is where we met for today's meeting. The group of nine of us are 'AVP NEEM'... Alternatives to Violence Project North East and East Midlands, a member of AVP Britain (http://www.avpbritain.org.uk/) We put on workshops and courses on conflict resolution, some people come for anger management help. We work in prisons and in the community. One project works in conjunction with MIND and a local NHS Mental Health service, putting on a workshop every other month. The workshops are quite long and 'deep', the ones we put on start on Friday night, take most of Saturday and Sunday until teatime. We can provide somewhere for participants to stay if they don't live locally. All the facilitators AND participants are volunteers, and the process really works. It helped me and I've heard very few negative comments, more than 9/10 coments are 'All Very Positive'!

So this meeting was one of our twice-yearly management meetings and it went well. Afterwards I popped in to see our old Treasurer Harry, who in his old-age has gone blind but is receiving good care from the Hartrigg Oaks team.

I cycled back and whilst collecting some logs and positioning them in my trailer, my buddy Philip cycled past, coming home from his gardening job, so we cycled together back to Tang Hall chatting, and when I got back to Hull Road, Gill told me that all had gone smoothly and peacefully since I left. Thank goodness!

Gill had created a lovely tea and we all ate together.