tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8521461115196530599.post6260929684597810668..comments2023-07-20T11:49:35.977+01:00Comments on Low Carbon Lifestyle: Tuesday 25th November 08Compost Johnhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10270806060748616269noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8521461115196530599.post-4313902363766632042008-11-28T01:34:00.000+00:002008-11-28T01:34:00.000+00:00I received an email from one of my old friends who...I received an email from one of my old friends whom I've known for well over 20 years, so I've copied/pasted some of it, minus identifiers into this comments box...<BR/><BR/>"Hi John<BR/> <BR/>Ruth rang me last week to say that you were staying with her. I did call but managed to miss you both. <BR/><BR/>I wondered if you had been to the Maudsley again so I read your blog and was sad to see that you are not happy that you don't have a "diagnosis"/box.<BR/> <BR/>I do know how important a diagnosis can be.<BR/> <BR/>However the little light that went on was when I saw XXXX today.<BR/> <BR/>He was so focused on his sisters wastefulness, pointing it out 3 time in a 20 min visit....XXXXXX [my friend's partner] becomes just like that sometimes...nothing to do with his manic depression....everything to do with genetics and upbringing !!!!! BING LIGHTBULB MOMENT So that why one bit of him is as he is.<BR/> <BR/>I hope that it is helpful to say that you do have a diagnosis but it is rather more complex than saying ADHD or Aspergers.<BR/> <BR/>I could give you a diagnosis of why [my partner] is as he is but it would run to a sheet of A4 not just have the words manic depressive on it.<BR/> <BR/>You know nothing to do with biology is ever simple...but I do appreciate just saying "Well, I'm John (or XXXXXX) and this is how I am" is a very hard concept to convey to other people it is sometimes very nice to be able to encompass ones character with one word.<BR/> <BR/>Anyway why don't you either say "Well, I'm John and this is how I am" <BR/>or think of how you would write out a sheet of A4 for the times when people do have time to listen <BR/>or maybe just say "I had ADHD as a child and have become an unusual/eccentric/special (word of your choice) adult as a result".....<BR/> <BR/>If any one of the three options doesn't grab the attention of the person you are talking to then you are probably talking to the wrong person.<BR/> <BR/>Or you could try the famous wisdom of granny XXXXXXXX.....people will either like you or they won't...if they don't like you it is THEIR loss.<BR/> <BR/>I hope that you shake off the blues and relax back into being you.<BR/> <BR/>Take care"<BR/><BR/><BR/>I am very grateful of these words of wisdom from my friend. So true.<BR/><BR/>So, I am 'just John', undiagnosable, complex, hard working and productive but chaotic and untidy, comfortable in routines yet experimental and happy to try new stuff, very open and honest but occasionally inappropriate.... <BR/>JUST JOHN! <BR/><BR/>I feel better already!Compost Johnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10270806060748616269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8521461115196530599.post-38183252208082695702008-11-27T21:25:00.000+00:002008-11-27T21:25:00.000+00:00Dear John, I'm sorry that things didn't go as expe...Dear John, I'm sorry that things didn't go as expected. I can understand how disappointing it might feel, to not have this sorted, or at least pointing in the right direction, especially after hoping and expecting for so much, for so long. <BR/><BR/>But like Anna says, you are John. The truth is very simple, you are no different today to who were the day before and who you'll be tomorrow.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps the comfort of a label or medical explanation, would have been helpful to you being you. Maybe not though, as I reckon you'd have broken out before long.<BR/><BR/>So you're just going to have to be like most people and 'pretend' you know what makes you tick!! Or maybe be like the majority of us, who only, if they are extremely fortuate, get a glimpse of what life really means and can begin to understand people, who have never had the opportunity to understand.<BR/><BR/>More importantly you are John without label or pigeon hole. Had this week ended with you being John with label or pigeon hole there would have been little difference bcause it would have just been you.... not ignored but a given understanding and celebration, that you are John.Ali Haywardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02823044786687132033noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8521461115196530599.post-54662676683317938742008-11-26T10:12:00.000+00:002008-11-26T10:12:00.000+00:00John, my dear brother.. you will always just be Jo...John, my dear brother.. you will always just be John to me.. Pain in the neck you might be at times, and i may not agree with some of the things you do, but I still love you :-)<BR/><BR/>Dont let it get you down that they can't put you in a box.. you would probably just fight your way out of it, then recycle it anyway lol<BR/><BR/>Anna xxxxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com